So I see my buddy Jonser the other day and he chews me out for not posting recently.  So what have I been doing with my time?  Oh not much.  Just went to Mexico and solved the sub-prime crisis during a Don Julio-induced bender.  Anyone want the solution?  O.k., we’re getting rid of all coins.  How?  Everyone is going to go to Coinstar and trade in their coins for Dunkin Donuts or Itunes certificates.  It’s FREE!  Yeah, the rtards at Coinstar finally figured out the people will do anything if it’s free.  So everyone probably has like $30 worth of change laying around.  Multiply that by 250 million U.S. people and we’re at $7.5 billion.  Bam.  $7.5 billion dollars redistributed EVENLY into the economy. 

After this happens we’ll get rid of coins for good.  Cell phone technology issued by financial companies will move coins from registers-to-phones and phones-to-phones.  In 2007, the U.S. minted 14 billion coins.  Let’s say it costs a penny to make each coin.  That’s $140 million.  In 2007, there were about 140 billion dollar bills made.  Let’s say dollar bills cost four cents. That’s about $640 million.  So don’t make any more coins and stop printing money and we’re up $8.2 billion after Coinstar Day.  Are you happy now Jonser?

Yeah, so last night's episode of The Bachelor did a lot to diminish my love for Mr. Hot-British-Guy. Did anyone else get that man-whore feeling from him? I don't know, he just seemed kind of sleazy, and not as funny and normal, as compared to last week. 

Top 3 Things NOT To Do On The Bachelor:

1. Sing - it's ALWAYS awkward and creepy

2. Openly acknowledge that it's a competition - a la Leelee Sobieski's twin and her ridiculously immature gloating/dancing thing when she got the group date rose

3. Throw a jealous fit over the fact that you're "dating" the Bachelor along with several other women. Um, hi Shayne - are you familiar with the premise behind this show? 

Check out this week's recap from EW.com - Mandi Bierly was totally reading my mind last night. http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/03/the-bachelor--2.html#more

Ahh, it feels good to have them back, doesn't it? Chris Harrison, his newest Bachelor, and his trusty gang of needy, insane, bitchy (and occasionally charming and down-to-earth) bachelorettes...yeah, I'll be honest, last night was a good tv night for me. I'm already "falling in love" with Matthew Grant* (Ha! I fell in love first, stalkerettes!) - I've always had a slight obsession with all things British, as well as tall, dark and handsome men, as well as men with a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor - so I'm sold. Loved that he was using said dry British wit to laugh at crazy-blow-up-doll Stacey to her face last night when she was slurring on about how she was destined to win and her need to discover pharmaceuticals for diseases we don't even know about.

One caveat with last night's episode - knowing that this guy is coming all the way from England to find his soulmate and settle down, and listening to him go on about how he wants a wife and kinds and all that, did ABC really have to make all the women look like complete trashionistas in the promos? I mean, it's as if they're saying "yes, come to America and meet our finest women, who will give each other lap dances and get really drunk for you - because the biggest difference between British women and American women is that the American ones are all a bunch of classless, drunk hos!" Seriously ABC, that's insulting. Oh well, read and enjoy EW's re-cap here: http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/03/the-bachelor--1.html#more

*Not really, although he is super-hot...

I really do.  Cats don't do anything and it's cruel to keep them captive.  Plus they smell, cost money and are a general pain in the ass.  But I approve of funny pictures.  And dressing up silly ideas (cats as pets) with silly hats makes sense.